"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want." -Psalm 23:1
We have all found ourselves in situations where we were expecting God to provide for us in one particular way. Where, when we looked at the situation and ran it through our reasoning minds, that one particular way was the only way that we could think of it working. (In fact, you can read another post relating to this here.)
We have a story to share with you, friend, that just happened and was just exactly that.
The last several weeks have been physically miserable. I (LJ) carry a lot, like a lot of tension in my neck and shoulders... like most people. And in the name of "vulnerability" with you all, I struggle in insane amounts with self-inflicted pressure. Whatever your expectations are for me, trust me, mine are about ten notches higher for myself.
"Am I the best wife? No? Well, I should be. Am I the best employee my bosses have ever seen? No? Well, I should be! Am I making everyone around me happy? No? Well, I should be!"
You see? This is my mind, sometimes. Usually. Okay... almost always. And also, I'm a "yes" person and idealist. So basically I think I'm Wonder Woman.
You can see why this is bad, right?
So at the end of last week, I reached out to my small group to ask for some good chiropractors. Christian and I are very much into holistic healthcare (#witchdoctors) and believe hugely in the benefits of chiropractic care. (**Note: This is a fair warning that should anyone come up to either of us and feel the least bit sickly, we will promptly begin to smother them with essential oils, recommending herbs and teas they have to start drinking right away.... You know, things to look forward to should this ever be you**)
Some friends recommended this great family wellness chiropractor in the area, so I immediately called and scheduled an appointment. This last Tuesday was my first appointment. The two doctors were amazing. Loved them, got some x-rays, but the whole time, and basically with every move, I could see dollar signs popping up.
Here's another fun thing about being an adult: Money. Oh, wait. Nope. That's not fun. That's actually the worst.
Especially when you are raising support to go overseas and really need a chiropractor, among other things.
But again, I was thinking, well... if I do need the chiropractor, which I'm pretty darn sure I do, God will make it work!
So after the x-rays and a quick adjustment, I was on my way, scheduled to come in Wednesday for adjustment number two and to officially break up with these people should God not miraculously change my chiropractor's mind to adjust me for free. "It's not you, it's me. Except it is you because you're just REALLY expensive."
All Wednesday I was praying that God would have miraculously changed the doctor's heart. I went in, got my adjustment and walked up to settle accounts. I waited for my chiropractor to tell the assistant that he was going to adjust me for free because well, he just liked me that much... or something....
Seriously, nothing happened. I looked at what they were asking, even offering a payment plan, and I was like, "Sorry... I can't. I hate this. But I can't." Honestly, I was so discouraged that I even started to tear up and with ALL my might was holding it back. But really, crying in public is not my jam, so I said something to the girl like, "Wow, the air is SO dry these days! It always makes my eyes get watery!" to which she replied, "I know, right?"
Suddenly I heard people behind me: It was my friend who had recommended the chiropractor to me. It was so great to see them, and my mind got distracted for the time.
When I got home, I told my husband of my discouragement-- how much I've been struggling with feeling like we have all these things that I consider needs, and how I just can't figure out how they're supposed to work. That's when my self-control took off running and the tears ran with them right down my face.
Folks, this is the part where I emphasize just HOW DANG IMPORTANT it is for you to marry someone who is SO SO passionate about Jesus, because it's times like this when you NEED their faith to be stronger than yours so they can lift you back up and preach truth to you. And really, it's these times that show me and prove to me even further that marrying Christian was the best decision I ever made.
Later that night, I got a text from my friend I ran into at the chiropractor. She commented on how she saw me get "the folder." For those of you who haven't been to a chiropractor, the folder is the worst part because the folder is what tells you how much of your money you can kiss goodbye if you want your spine to be fixed. The folder is a brutal beast.
As we were texting how much the folder makes us flinch she said, "If you don't mind sharing, how much did he charge you?" I told her, figuring it was probably the same all around.
The next morning (Thursday) as I sat down at my desk, my phone gave one of those big buzzes. I picked it up and saw it was from my friend.
"We want to cover that cost for you. Get yourself feeling the best you can feel before you head to Austria. We are in it with you and we love you guys and feel like Dr. _______ is legit and will help you to be the best version of yourself physically. And that's important."
My jaw dropped. For such a normally wordy person, I couldn't think of words. I thought that she must not understand how expensive it is to go as much as the doctor said. I shared that with her and said, "Girl, I get it if you want to rethink this. Like, are you SURE!?"
"Umm YES we're sure."
You guys... it amazes me how the Lord uses people like this to teach us things. It's amazing how the greatest times of teaching about generosity in my life have been through people showing me the greatest examples of it through their actions toward me.
I don't deserve this gift, but that's the beauty of my Father. And that's the real beauty of the Church.
I am learning more and more that provision doesn't necessarily come from the source that I reason it should be coming from, and I'm learning more and more of the real value of living in real Church community.
"By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." -John 13:35 (ESV)
Do any of you have an experience where God used an unexpected resource to provide for you? Feel free to share!